Revise the two (2) emails below to remove problematic content and help these students construct polite, effective email messages instead.
Susan is unhappy with her grade in her college class. She wants to clarify what she can do to improve in the course. She also feels like venting her frustrations to her professor due to the many hours she is spending studying and writing papers (which may or may not be a good idea). She decides to email her professor; however, before she hits SEND, she asks you, her friend, to take a look at the email.
Reading the email, you note a lack of civility, polarizing language, and other unethical language (given the context). Help Susan rewrite her email, so she can express her concerns over her poor grade politely and ask for help from the professor.
(No greeting) I want to know why my grade was so bad. I spent hours finding sources and writing that paper and it was graded unfair. My friend wrote her paper the night before it was due and got a better grade. I know most professors grade hard but this is ridiculous. I felt good when I submitted the paper but now I feel like crap. I guess I am going to fail. (No closing)
Don is worried about passing his college class due to some low grades. He wants to ask his professor for help to pass the class. He decides to email his professor; however, before he hits SEND, he decides to ask you, his friend, to take a look at the email.
Reading the email, you note a lack of civility, poor manners, and poor grammar in Don’s email. Help Don rewrite the email, so he can express his concerns and appropriately seek help from the professor.
(No greeting) Yo teach. I dunno no way to pass this class. What I gotta do to pass? (No closing)
Revise both emails. Create two (2) new email messages of one to two (1-2) paragraphs each for a total of two to four (2-4) paragraphs. Create an appropriate greeting and closing for each email. Target the appropriate professional audience. Use appropriate language for professional audience. Use appropriate email formatting. Follow appropriate netiquette rules for electronic communication. Meet the 100-to-200-word minimum requirement for each email revision. Use correct sentence mechanics, grammar, spelling, punctuation, and style.